of farewells and fare wells - 2
as expressed earlier, i always feared the farewell at my college. it was fairly obvious to me in advance that the moments of hostel life, so spontaneous and very enriching had to be priceless. as the adlib proclaims – there are some things that money can’t buy…well this certainly was one.
previously i had two defining sets of experiences in my academic institutions. the first of them was a rather unpleasant one with my disability in articulating my thoughts in the native land coupled with the food preferences typical of my upbringing putting me at a huge ‘away’ disadvantage, to borrow a soccer parlance. the second one was characterised by an initial struggle only for the law of averages to take over.
this one was however a new experience in itself – it seemed to me that it was a tour through moderation. i had my share of triumphs and a lion’s share of heated arguments and misunderstandings (euphemism implied). there was certainly a distinct element of unpredictability that persisted throughout. until my pre-final year i thought i had to cope with only one year of bidding goodbye. however all that changed with a department event that brought our batch in close coordination with the seniors. i managed to land up with a new set of friends. thankfully (perhaps due to an inherent ‘seniority complex’), it wasn’t too hard bidding farewell.
the real tough part however came a year later. with quite a few events and incidents severely limiting my social circle, the level of bonding that i enjoyed with the remaining set of people had to increase. i got my first feel of this during my final year tour when i was shocked by a bout of fever that decided to make its presence felt after quite a few years. under normal circumstances i might have taken it as a blessing-in-disguise and taken physical rest. but somehow for every moment that i was awake and struggling with my illness, i felt double as weak with the thought that it was indeed my last tour. in fact i wanted to recover in order to rid myself of the mental suffering rather than my physical plight!
a few months down the line and it was time for the batch to leave. i chose to part from the place as late as possible. hence i subjected myself to more of the pain wishing my friends that they fare well as they left one by one or sometimes in droves. i do not know whether most of them actually saw a glint of moist in my eyes. i do not remember when i cried and when i didn’t. the complete realisation never actually dawned upon me in all its might until the moment. as i danced and fooled away to glory during our official farewell it never struck me that this was also a moment of sentiment. i never felt emotional when i left my classroom for the last time. but i did return to take photographs a couple of days later.
none of my photos of the institute and the locations of nostalgia has any humans in them. i chose to do this. to me it offers an opportunity to fill the frame with those precise memories most of which are oven-fresh in my memory. today as i look at those empty spaces in the photos i can clearly visualise the happenings of the past in them.
they say that life is full of new experiences. they tell me “move on.” i do; but not always. sometimes it is just not possible; at least not for a human of limited calibre like me. there are experiences and points of time in life which you would want to freeze; not because you don’t want anything better, but because you just can’t get anything better practically speaking.
today on the 12th of march we had the convocation ceremony for our seniors. soon they will take our leave and part from one another. as i sat through the ceremony and moved around with some of them, i got a feeling of what i can perhaps term ‘consolation’. i know that a year down the line (hopefully not later than that!), as i graduate with a diploma in management, i shall miss the student life more than i miss the place and the environment. i hope to fare well after my farewell.
posted by raama @ 11:20:00 AM
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